non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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