I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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