I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
