that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my fart just growled at me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
