YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
