Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
