Having a random hookup so left but love u
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
