We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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