Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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