Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
