I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
