She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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