What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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