I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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