A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
