"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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