well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
