I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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