chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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