the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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