Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
