Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
