also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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