so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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