I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize