maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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