does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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