I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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