Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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