In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
