Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
