well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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