Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
