Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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