OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
