why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
