he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
