he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
