It's Friday. Sex?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize