the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
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I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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