I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious