come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.