just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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