I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize