she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
