OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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