I am puke
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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