He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
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