I wish my penis had an off switch
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize