It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
