hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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