Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
