In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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