it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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