Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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