He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
