Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize