White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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