i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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