The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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