Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
