Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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