i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
