Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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