I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
