just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
