So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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