All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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