I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
